Woah. Where to begin? I know in the scheme of things this past week in my life is not that bad. But I feel exhausted and bedraggled. I know I mentioned earlier that I would share moments form my recent NYC trip and God’s faithfulness. But my heart has hurt too much to type out the blessings. This past week held some difficult days where I longed for peace and rest. I have felt alone and cramped up in colitis pain. I have been angry, bitter, joyful, and disappointed over the far too early death of a dear sister at Church. I have hardly been able to stomach my own physical pain and the complete bitter-sweetness in knowing this sister left behind so many too early but now is with Jesus and pain free. I have wrestled over my current life situation and where to head. I have been pulled over for failure to stop at a yellow light. (Thank goodness for the shock value of it because otherwise I might have been laughing my head off)…really MA…that is a LAW? Since Wednesday and until a couple of hours ago my thumb and pointer finger on my writing hand have been numb and tingly, constantly. That meant no painting, no lifting kids at work, feeling pretty useless.  And then today, my beloved Bailey’s ear was nearly severed off(it was barely hanging on when he was rushed to the vet hospital) by a dog that attacked him through the small opening of our fence. Each day has brought small triumphs: I have had moments that are pain free and I never got a ticket from the shenanigans, but overall I have been left desperate and more in need of the gospel. I have been clinging to Romans 8.

 ¹⁸ For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. ¹⁹ For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, 

[i]in hope ²¹ that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God. ²² For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. ²³ And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for ouradoption as sons, the redemption of our body. ²⁴ For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.

²⁸ And we know that ^[k]God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

This past week has been quite the ride. I painted this afternoon to release some stress and spend some quiet time in rest and came up with this cute painting of willow trees (my fav. since a kid!…my little sis used to wake me up on long car rides so I didn’t miss any along the way) with a bird flying through the air with a note that says “it is well with my soul”. Honestly, I am not yet sure if all these things are well with my soul, but I’m working on it with His help.

Hope your Sunday was more restful than mine,

jengadi jean 😉