Tonight, I had to return this large canvas I had bought for a painting. I mentioned in the summer I had finally opened up my etsy shop [http://www.etsy.com/shop/jengadijean]. There have been several “almost-purchases” but not one has come to fruition yet. This past time, I sort of got my hopes up. Someone wanted one of my paintings and they were very excited to buy it. We had several conversations back and forth and I kept getting increasingly excited. Then nothing. Nothing happened. The conversations were so serious I went and bought all of the supplies, prepared how I would ship and contacted my print master for suggestions. And then, nothing. Hope deferred. Hope cancelled. I am not going to lie I am a bit dissapointed. But the thrill and hope of someday that dream coming true hasn’t died. I know my desire to paint feeds and reveals more than selling what I paint. And, everytime I feel the aching of dissapointment; I remember what I have been taught and know to be true. There are things, that even becoming a renowned artist, or any other imaginable success story I come up with cannot buy or complete in me. Each one will fall short. There are desires in this world insatiable by anything or anyone but my Savior.
“Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise” – C.S. Lewis