It IS February? Yes, yes it is. Can you believe it? I cannot. Every bone in my body feels like last month was August, STILL. February used to mean panic and despair to my body. Several years in a row (until last year), every February I ended up at the hospital or the doctor’s office. I always had an odd combination of symptoms. And it wasn’t until my junior year of college, a doctor put it all together. I ended up at the hospital for bleeding and bloating and pain in my stomach and a very swollen leg. This doctor finally knew why I had a leg that was impractical to walk all around NYC with (which I did anyways…). The leg issue was erythema nodosum which apparently only occurs in 1-4% of people with colitis. The details aren’t really that important. All I know is I feel normal, but have this issue that requires me to literally depend on God each and every day and modern medicine. In reality, I try to not let it interfere with my life. But I also realize because of it I will never have the same energy as a truly normal person (anemia). And February, since I was a teen, has been my flare-up month with my auto-immune disease. So, naturally, when February peeps, I used to panic. I am not going to panic this year. Okay, I really, really am not. It is, of course, what it is. God has surprised me many times before. I really ought to give him the benefit of the doubt. This past October, I was practically having a temper tantrum on my bedroom floor when we had the crazy October Noreaster. I thought “Thanks for the 6 months of Winter and scraping my car, I can’t wait”. What little did I know was after that storm we still wouldn’t have had a storm by today. I am constantly reminded how He is faithful even when I am not. I forget how funny He is and how He works. So, go ahead extra long Leap Year February, turn another page, because I am ready to battle you (not alone of course). Wouldn’t it be ironic (divine?) if I ever had a baby or something equally important in February? I will wait and smile on that day.

-jengadi jean

P.S. Happy Groundhog day! He saw his shadow…