I wrote awhile ago about how every February is awful for my auto-immune disease. Well, I haven’t written on my progress and frankly there is a reason for that. I wish it was so I could tell you I have been busy living life and healthy, but the truth is I have been really sick. I have been scared and so dizzy I haven’t been able to paint as much or be of any use, it seems. I still function of course and work full time, but it has been a ride. I suppose I should have realized the desperation of my situation when I had a number of interesting, unplanned bathrooms trips on my way to or from work. It certainly creates some interesting stories. One day, I found myself in the middle of an aisle at a Rocky’s, waiting for an employee to escort the “lady that must use the bathroom”. Yes, they repeated that call over the intercom a few times before he came and got me down the paint aisle… Okay, not so bad, Jen. But, how about the time you were running through a Sleepy’s ? Or the time you were waiting down a different aisle in Walgreen’s awaiting the “bathroom attendant”? And then there was the time in the craft store, when you dropped all of those balls of yarn…. Okay, somewhere in there it should have hit me, “gee, maybe I should do something about this whole going to the bathroom 12 times a day thing”, but it didn’t. I had to wait until my doctor called ME. Oops. And the kids were asking when I was due…that was a sign (I look very pregnant when I have a flare). So, here I am, back on high levels of steroids, starting on the EXACT day, as the previous two years. I felt defeated, hopeless, disappointed, unworthy. I get super jittery and nervous on these drugs and it really clouds my vision and gives me insomnia at night. But, it was too risky for them to not put me on them… if you know anyone who suffers from UC, they will tell you. But, there has to be a better way. There has to be a way to manage UC without liquid diets and drugs that make me feel so nutty. I have the most amazing support from my friends and family and could not ask for better. They have given me a renewed hope, that we will get to the bottom of this. With God’s strength I am praying for a way, I am praying against more drugs and biologics (which suppress my whole immune system and make me feel worse) and asking for a miracle, just  a little one. Are there tiny miracles though? I am seeking new approaches from using juicers to eating kefir…and my past coconut diet. So, this is my announcement: I will be sharing a little more about my disease, if only to help others manage their UC better. I have scoured the internet for advice, but there are not many accounts of people with UC. I hope I can find a way that gives relief and leads me back to a normal diet. But, in the meantime, lucky you, if you stick around, will get to hear funny stories, embarrassing moments, and my newest kefir cheese recipe (he’s so cute! ;)..

lots and lots of love,

jengadi jean