What is a sketch but a brief account of an idea or person or drawing? Wednesdays will be my sketch days from now on. I’ll share a brief sketch I made recently for an art project etc. and give you a little glimpse into my world.

Lately, there has been a bit of a struggle between where I felt like I would be by now and where God has me. It’s not all bad, of course. He’s teaching me in the most unusual circumstances how to be thankful and find who I am truly and ultimately in Christ. I suffer from an auto-immune disease (Ulcerative Colitis) and have been a bit hesitant about sharing this aspect of my life. Mostly for fear people will judge my competence or my worth based on my disease. I have never actually missed a day of work or any major function because of my illness but the days haven’t been easy either. Because of the nature of the beast, I have to plan trips around the bathroom and my eating habits are rocky to say the least. I am back on medication that makes me nauseous and dizzy and have had many sleepless nights. I am vying to enter the world of publishing and illustration and quite frankly I am exhausted. I spend most every other moment I am not working my full time job on my illustration career. I don’t know how to relax. I don’t want to explain my career pursuits to another prying person. I don’t want to be defined by doctor appointments or medication or my job. I want to be left alone in my studio to meddle and mix and create and be with my Savior. Do people really care what I do for a living or do they just want another means to compare themselves? Even the most well-intentioned person doesn’t seem to understand and I end up feeling hurt. The entire process is frustrating and exhausts me. But today, I know I can be thankful I am not alone. A friend from college wrote a compelling article on the the question of “What do you do?” and I stand here thankful for her perspective and not alone in the pursuit to be defined not for what I do, but who I am. Check her article out here from Relevant magazine.

Now for a glimpse into the sketches I have been doing as of late…

I pray you will persevere and push forward to dream your dreams and not let society tell you what you’re worth or define who you are by what you do or where you lack.

-jj